I’ve heard many women say that their first experience with masturbation was discovering that it felt really good to rub a pillow between their legs. What? I swear on chocolate, I had no experience of self love until I was an adult. There was no reason for that. I just had no clue. That was unfortunate for me because I also didn’t have an enjoyable sex life until I was older. I thought, “Is that it?”
Self love is critical (Yes it’s that important.) to our health, wealth and happiness and if we don’t know ourselves, how can we expect our partners to properly pleasure us? So here are my masturbation tips for ladies. (Sorry guys, but pay attention.)
#1 Grab a mirror. Vulvas are all very different and they are all beautiful. Take a look at yours. Admire the complexity. It is often referred to as a flower. It’s not a wonder.
#2 Get in the mood. Do whatever makes you feel relaxed and sensual. Light candles. Take a bubble bath. Listen to sexy music. (Sade is my favorite.) Read erotica. (The Sleeping Beauty series by Anne Rice under the pen name A.N. Roquelaure is very well done.) Watch porn. Most importantly, make sure you won’t have any interruptions.
#3 Explore your body. Don’t go straight for the clit. Touch your whole body. Discover what places you find particularly erotic. Explore all of your vulva. I discovered that I really enjoyed the U Spot before I even knew there was a name for it. I am not a big fan of vibrators, certainly not if that’s all you do, but don’t be afraid to give that ago. Pay attention as well to the perineum and the anus.
#4 Use lubrication. Lube creates a more sensual experience. Get one that is water soluble or even better, I recommend coconut oil.
#5 Take your time. While orgasm is awesome, don’t make that your goal. It takes women an average of 20 minutes to achieve orgasm. I would encourage you to block out an hour or more to really explore yourself and discover what you like.
These are just a few, but most important…have fun.