We take a real blow to the ego after a divorce, whether the marriage ended good or bad. It comes with a lot of self doubt and shame. The idea of moving on, let alone getting into another relationship is painful. Believe it or not, sex can be the answer. Some of my more conservative readers are freaking out right now, so let me just say this, we are from sex. Makes sense that it effects everything in our lives.
- Infidelity. Extra-marital affairs are responsible for the breakdown of most marriages that end in divorce.
- Money. Money makes people funny, or so the saying goes, and it’s true.
- Lack of communication.
- Constant arguing.
- Weight gain.
- Unrealistic expectations.
- Lack of intimacy.
- Lack of equality.
- Not being prepared for marriage.
- Abuse – emotional and physical.
In direct and indirect ways, sex can be tied to each one of these. If that is true, why is sex the thing we are so afraid to address and talk about? So instead of going into how it effects each one of these right now, let’s just get into being sexually healthier.
The first love is self love.
Have you heard of sex energy? Well you have it, know it or not and it effects your health, wealth and happiness. So, how do you tap into that?
Yes, I’m talking about masturbation first. “Oh, no. I can’t do that.” I hear it now. Masturbation is such a pure form of self love, but we have been culturized to see it as bad or dirty. When thoughtfully done, we create a love for ourselves and our bodies that we may have never had or have lost touch with. There are many ways to do that through masturbation, but for sake of space, I’ll invite you to take my National Masturbation Month Daily Challenge on my page The Erotic Life.
How about spending time alone? You have spent so much time with someone else, that he idea of this terrifies you. That’s a very good reason to do it. Remember we’re talking about loving yourself again?
- Go to a movie by yourself.
- Go to dinner by yourself.
- Go to a spa. (You guys too.) Self pampering is important.
- Write love letters to yourself. (I’m not kidding.)
- Explore a new hobby or revisit an old one.
- Keep a journal about things you love about yourself.
This is a time to REALLY be selfish. You need to focus on loving yourself in order to give the most of yourself to the world around you.